Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
