I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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