I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
