I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
