Define "chronic" masturbator.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
