some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think your dad took our porno
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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