My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Houston, we have a squirter
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
