So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
