why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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