so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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