Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Randomize
