Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
