did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
