What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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