But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
