no, he came in my armpit
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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