so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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