he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
this hospital has no fireball
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
