Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
