He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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