I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i think my cat just said my name.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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