So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
