id be glad to
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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