Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
there is puke in my bra ... again
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
