Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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