I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she looked like the before picture.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize