i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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