hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
