dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
