"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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