She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
