Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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