sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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