then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
