Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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