So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
