I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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