she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
