its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
