i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
