Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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