yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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