does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
