you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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