I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
