I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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