my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
