you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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