it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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