wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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